Womanhood, It's great to be here.

The other night, I got to have a deep conversation with a friend whom I hadn't seen in a while. She just got back a few months ago from a YWAM mission in New Zealand. I have to say it was so refreshing to share our hearts with one another as we sat in my car after dinner with some friends.

We both were so amazed about how much we have grown in the last couple of years. I was encouraged by the words she spoke to me about my growth, telling me that I am not the same girl I was a couple of years ago. We talked for a while about her trip and the growth process it has brought her (she is not the same little Jenni), about her new relationship with such an amazing man of God who has embraced her in ways that every girl dreams about, we then talked about my broken relationship and our passions to truly serve the Lord. It was so refreshing in more ways than I can imagine to share with someone who understands my heart, dream and goals for my life. Talking with her opened up many things I am dealing with right now in my life, but it also gave me a sense of hope to know that I am not alone.

And after I dropped her off at her car as I was driving home with the street lights on and no one insight, I began to very the ponder thought of the words she said to me. One thing she said, was, "Tiffany you are confident." She began then to describe the type of girl I was 2 years ago and if you read this and know me, you could say, I was a scared little girl, who hid behind the deepest parts of my heart. I think we all can testify that we all struggle with the sense of "hiding" in our life. Afraid to be vunerable, afraid to be real, afraid to take risk, especially if it cost us getting hurt (I know I am), but as I was driving home and reflecting on the conversation I began to thank the Lord. I began to thank Him for truly making me into a woman, for giving me the grace to walk out of being a little girl and walk into womahood.

I got to admit, it feels amazing to be in this state, not just a woman who is defined by what the world says it looks like, but what God's definition of a woman is. One of my favorite verses is in Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceitful and beauty is fading, but a woman who fears the Lord, shall be praised." I often pondered the very truth behind this scripture. What does it really mean and how does it affect my life? If you look back into the history, this Proverbs was actually directed toward young men and what kind of wife they should look for and it also teaches us woman what type of woman God wants us to be. As I read this scripture and ask God to reveal the truth for me, I see it this way: I can allow the world's standards to dictate who I am going to be, or I can allow the word of God define my character. Fearing God isn't about being afraid of who He is, but KNOWING who He is and although I don't have the Lord all figured out, I know enough to know that He is my God, I know enough to know that He is continually breaking me to be perfected in Him and I know enough to know that no matter what happens in my life, the good or the bad, He is my God.

Having that conversation with my dear friend and seeing how far God has brought us to where we are today, made me so thankful for the hardship it has been and yes I do have a journey ahead, but I realize it's not about the end of the journey, but it's about the experience through it.

"Thank you for creating me just the way that I am, with all my flaws, Lord I know you made a good thing when you created me, when you created each individual who reads this. God would you teach us to walk in your ways and truth with boldness, conviction and humility. May you become our everything in this life and as an act of worship, may we spread that "everything" onto those who are in need, that we may be your hands and feet. Amen."