Seasons

I have been going through events of emotions the last week and as I shared with a friend last night, I asked for prayer, "I have been feeling anxious" and I am not sure why (maybe I do know). She asked if I was going on any of the GO trips and I shared with her I leave for New Orleans. Many times throughout the day I find myself in tears praying that God would once again meet me where I am at right now in life. I feel so unsure about so many things. It's like I am being tossed in the midst of this lifestyle, trying to figure out exactly where it is I am supposed to stand and maybe it's not about where I stand, but WHO I stand on.

I remember one time when I saw Bill, I asked him, "Bill sometimes I just don't like the fact that I am emotional." And I remember he said, "Tiffany that is the way God created you, now give him thanks, but don't allow it to control you." That is always Bill's response on certain things, "Give Thanks."

It's been hard the last couple of months, I am not going to lie. There is joy in the midst of pain, Jesus Christ himself had joy when he was enduring the cross, "...looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith, who for the JOY that was set before him endured the cross..." This verse in Hebrews chapter 12 has been my life verse, that Jesus Christ himself endured the cross with the joy set before him. That is such a beautiful reality there and many times when I feel like the pain is so real, when the tears just don't stop coming and I find myself alone, I can look to Jesus and be reminded that He himself understands. He knows what it feels like to experience pain, but there is the light at the end of the tunnel.

Ecclesiastes speaks, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven........a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance...." And for right now there is a season for me and the only thing that is keeping me going each day is knowing that my God promises us, "And we know ALL things work together for good, for those who love the Lord." In times when it doesn't "feel" like things are working out for the good, I must trust and rely on this truth, that God never goes back on His word, that He is faithful and I don't have to rely on what I am feeling to know that God is near.